Sound guidance and spiritual exercises to help build or begin harmonious partnerships and avoid common stumbling blocks. We all want our relationships to be healthy—but who knows how to make that happen? Husband and wife authors Steve and Angie McCord, a couple with more than twenty years in recovery each, share with you the sound advice and spiritual exercises that have helped their own relationship grow and thrive. In A Spiritual Path to a Healthy Relationship you will learn effective tools and solutions for achieving the relationship you desire, including: * Envisioning the qualities you…mehr
Sound guidance and spiritual exercises to help build or begin harmonious partnerships and avoid common stumbling blocks. We all want our relationships to be healthy—but who knows how to make that happen? Husband and wife authors Steve and Angie McCord, a couple with more than twenty years in recovery each, share with you the sound advice and spiritual exercises that have helped their own relationship grow and thrive. In A Spiritual Path to a Healthy Relationship you will learn effective tools and solutions for achieving the relationship you desire, including: * Envisioning the qualities you want in a mate and identifying "must haves" and "deal breakers" * Transitioning from self-reliance to partnership * Overcoming relationship fears and getting past intimacy roadblocks * Nurturing positive communication, gratitude, and spiritual connection * Applying prayer and meditation for a more peaceful relationship Steve McCord is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has provided counseling to individuals, couples, and families since 1991. Angie McCord is a certified life coach specializing in personal and professional relationships. They bring their avid quest for spiritual growth to their professional lives and have been actively involved in the recovery community for more than twenty and thirsty years, respectively. As leaders of couples retreats, they find great joy in mentoring others. Steve and Angie were married on March 30, 2003.
Steve McCord is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has provided counseling to individuals, couples, and families since 1991. He has specialized in addiction medicine as well as family therapy. Steve is active in communities centered around creative expression, including poetry and wood carving, and is also an elder and leader in several men's communities. Angie McCord is a certified life coach specializing in personal and professional relationships. She is a retired Chief of Human Resources for the Los Angeles District Attorney's Office. Throughout her extensive career, she has been recognized for her expertise in the areas of training and employee development, employee relations, performance management, classification, and recruitment.
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Table of Contents INTRODUCTION PART I WHAT IT WAS LIKE: FROM DESOLATION TO "HAPPILY EVER AFTER" 1. ANGIE'S STORY Looking for love in all the wrong places until my real "Prince Charming" arrived 2. STEVE'S STORY From hurting to helping to healing 3. REFLECTIONS FOR THE "TERMINALLY SINGLE" Affirmations for identifying desired qualities in a mate 4. FROM SEEKING THE RIGHT PERSON TO BECOMING THE RIGHT PERSON From self-centeredness to centered selfness 5. RELATIONSHIP WISH LIST Daring to dream: visioning qualities you want in a relationship 6. DO YOU WANT A LIFE PARTNER? Daring to hope it is possible 7. OVERCOMING FEAR Two wolves-which will you feed? 8. INFATUATION OR INTIMACY A bird may love a fish, but where would they live? Reflections on areas of compatibility 9. MY MAGIC, MAGNIFYING MIND What I like about you 10. CONFUSION OF NEEDS AND THE THREE CIRCLES OF SELF-AWARENESS Honestly facing and discussing "must haves" and "deal breakers" 11. THERE ARE NO RULES Baby steps from self-reliance to partnership 12. SPIRITUAL, PROSPEROUS, AND FUN Happy, joyous, and free-not glum 13. THE WHOLE PACKAGE Acceptance and commitment 14. MORE ABOUT GOD'S WILL Turning our will and lives over, together PART II REALITY BITES: LIVING TOGETHER = POURING MIRACLE GROW ON CHARACTER DEFECTS 1. RESTLESS, IRRITABLE, AND DISCONTENT Recognizing and owning our own moods and negative tendencies 2. HOW GOOD CAN YOU STAND IT? Navigating away from the trap of self-sabotage 3. HUMILITY For better or for worse, but not for lunch? 4. THAR SHE BLOWS Surviving conflict 5. SPACE VS. TOGETHERNESS More about humility 6. STILL FLAWED AFTER ALL THESE YEARS Driving each other crazy (who, us, character defects?) Baby will you drive my car? 7. AMENDS Agreement, integrity, and trust Personal inventory, more about the magic of admitting you are wrong Would I rather be right or happy? How important is it, really? 8. FINANCES Our common welfare Money, property, besiege 9. WHEN PRINCE CHARMING SCREWS UP We don't leave no matter what 10. DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL AND THE FOUR R's OF RELATIONSHIP PART III POSITIVE ACTION: NURTURING THE GARDEN 1. COMMUNICATION What I heard you say is On a scale of one to ten What we hold sacred: Five Languages of Love 2. INTIMACY BUILDERS Four gateways to intimacy (weekly relationship inventory meeting) Sharing Listening Ten questions game 3. REINFORCING THE POSITIVE Marriage journal, cherishing the good times A retreat? No, it's an advance! Building and honoring the container Vitamin G, the gratitude list Attitude power 4. INSPIRATIONS FROM STEVE'S CLINICAL PRACTICE Spiritual connection vs. emotional dependency 5. TRADITIONS AND NEW RENDITIONS 6. POWER OF PRAYER AND MEDITATION Moving it from an individual practice into the relationship PART IV KEEPING THE "I" IN MARRIAGE: PRACTICING SELF-CARE (WHEN FOR "ME" = FOR "US") 1. BACKGROUND Overview Spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps Stages of change What do you mean by spiritual path? A clique vs. a community vs. a cult 2. WORKING OUR OWN PROGRAM It starts with trust Relying on a higher power, insecurity vs. faith Sponsorship and passing it on What I get from helping others 3. HONESTY/AUTHENTICITY "Fake it till you make it" or "To thine own self be true"? On being real Grief vs. self-pity What support looks like to me The hero's journey of recovery PART V "PASSING IT ON" AS A COUPLE 1. THEY STOOD AT THE TURNING POINT Inspiration from other couples Knowing when to quit 2. COUPLES COMMUNITY No power, no music Couples meetings 3. SUMMARY APPENDIX I TRADITIONS FOR COUPLES APPENDIX II SAMPLE MEETING FORMAT COUPLES MEETING FORMAT
Table of Contents INTRODUCTION PART I WHAT IT WAS LIKE: FROM DESOLATION TO "HAPPILY EVER AFTER" 1. ANGIE'S STORY Looking for love in all the wrong places until my real "Prince Charming" arrived 2. STEVE'S STORY From hurting to helping to healing 3. REFLECTIONS FOR THE "TERMINALLY SINGLE" Affirmations for identifying desired qualities in a mate 4. FROM SEEKING THE RIGHT PERSON TO BECOMING THE RIGHT PERSON From self-centeredness to centered selfness 5. RELATIONSHIP WISH LIST Daring to dream: visioning qualities you want in a relationship 6. DO YOU WANT A LIFE PARTNER? Daring to hope it is possible 7. OVERCOMING FEAR Two wolves-which will you feed? 8. INFATUATION OR INTIMACY A bird may love a fish, but where would they live? Reflections on areas of compatibility 9. MY MAGIC, MAGNIFYING MIND What I like about you 10. CONFUSION OF NEEDS AND THE THREE CIRCLES OF SELF-AWARENESS Honestly facing and discussing "must haves" and "deal breakers" 11. THERE ARE NO RULES Baby steps from self-reliance to partnership 12. SPIRITUAL, PROSPEROUS, AND FUN Happy, joyous, and free-not glum 13. THE WHOLE PACKAGE Acceptance and commitment 14. MORE ABOUT GOD'S WILL Turning our will and lives over, together PART II REALITY BITES: LIVING TOGETHER = POURING MIRACLE GROW ON CHARACTER DEFECTS 1. RESTLESS, IRRITABLE, AND DISCONTENT Recognizing and owning our own moods and negative tendencies 2. HOW GOOD CAN YOU STAND IT? Navigating away from the trap of self-sabotage 3. HUMILITY For better or for worse, but not for lunch? 4. THAR SHE BLOWS Surviving conflict 5. SPACE VS. TOGETHERNESS More about humility 6. STILL FLAWED AFTER ALL THESE YEARS Driving each other crazy (who, us, character defects?) Baby will you drive my car? 7. AMENDS Agreement, integrity, and trust Personal inventory, more about the magic of admitting you are wrong Would I rather be right or happy? How important is it, really? 8. FINANCES Our common welfare Money, property, besiege 9. WHEN PRINCE CHARMING SCREWS UP We don't leave no matter what 10. DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL AND THE FOUR R's OF RELATIONSHIP PART III POSITIVE ACTION: NURTURING THE GARDEN 1. COMMUNICATION What I heard you say is On a scale of one to ten What we hold sacred: Five Languages of Love 2. INTIMACY BUILDERS Four gateways to intimacy (weekly relationship inventory meeting) Sharing Listening Ten questions game 3. REINFORCING THE POSITIVE Marriage journal, cherishing the good times A retreat? No, it's an advance! Building and honoring the container Vitamin G, the gratitude list Attitude power 4. INSPIRATIONS FROM STEVE'S CLINICAL PRACTICE Spiritual connection vs. emotional dependency 5. TRADITIONS AND NEW RENDITIONS 6. POWER OF PRAYER AND MEDITATION Moving it from an individual practice into the relationship PART IV KEEPING THE "I" IN MARRIAGE: PRACTICING SELF-CARE (WHEN FOR "ME" = FOR "US") 1. BACKGROUND Overview Spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps Stages of change What do you mean by spiritual path? A clique vs. a community vs. a cult 2. WORKING OUR OWN PROGRAM It starts with trust Relying on a higher power, insecurity vs. faith Sponsorship and passing it on What I get from helping others 3. HONESTY/AUTHENTICITY "Fake it till you make it" or "To thine own self be true"? On being real Grief vs. self-pity What support looks like to me The hero's journey of recovery PART V "PASSING IT ON" AS A COUPLE 1. THEY STOOD AT THE TURNING POINT Inspiration from other couples Knowing when to quit 2. COUPLES COMMUNITY No power, no music Couples meetings 3. SUMMARY APPENDIX I TRADITIONS FOR COUPLES APPENDIX II SAMPLE MEETING FORMAT COUPLES MEETING FORMAT
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