The Most Important Meal of the Day...is Weird. Why so glum, friend? Are you feeling fatigued? Logy? Knackered? Do you require sustenance? A boost of energy to reinvigorate your existence? We have good news for you, then: The Bravest, the Newest, the Weirdest...now in edible form! Delivered directly to your body-meat, rich in nutrients and portion-sized! Consumption of BRAVE NEW WEIRD is not for the meek of constitution. Possible side effects include vertigo; mild bruising; bone disruption; blushing of the internal organs; raging vapors; flustered nethers syndrome; tooth-in-eye disease; primordial ideation; intermittent gliding; manic progressive rock woodwind soloing; homicidal thoughts (common); deicidal thoughts (commoner); systemic disruption of, and erroneous erections in relation to, baked goods; inclement leftism; disgovernalia; Pavlov's reflux; psychotronic obsession; anal leakage; recurring heel turns; erotic heresy; obsequiousness; Malodor, malphesance, Mallory; mountain mania; Pustulia Angelus; big ol' insect legs. Do not consume in direct sunlight. Or moonlight. Any light, really. And, as with all Tenebrous Brand Consumables(TM) Step bravely. Do not panic.
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