Living Through the Cycle: My PAIN is REAL For years, I was gaslit by doctors, dismissed by family, and misunderstood by partners. Every attempt to explain my pain was brushed off as "just PMS" or being "too emotional." Relationships crumbled, not from a lack of love, but because I was unknowingly codependent and living under the weight of an undiagnosed condition that shaped every part of my life. It wasn't until my late thirties that I finally discovered its name: PMDD-Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. By then, the damage of misdiagnosis had already left scars-broken connections, battles with substance use, legal struggles, and years of confusion. In the award-winning documentary Game Girls, my story was captured on screen, yet even there, a male doctor missed the truth, defaulting to the "bipolar theory." That moment reflected not just my experience but the silence faced by countless women who are mislabeled, mistreated, and left without answers. My turning point came when medication nearly ended my life. Lexapro was prescribed as a solution, but its side effects pulled me toward suicide. I refused to be silenced again. That pain became my fuel for advocacy. Through PMDD support groups on Facebook, I found what the medical system could not give me-community, validation, and a language for my suffering. Women from across the globe shared their cycles, triggers, and survival strategies. Together, we built the knowledge that had been denied to us. This book is both a testimony and a guide. It explores the urgency of PMDD recognition in health care and workplaces, where women deserve accommodations under the ADA. It sheds light on the dangers of misdiagnosis, the cycles of survival, and the beauty of finally being seen. Because PMDD is not "just PMS." It's real. It's life-altering. And it's time we name it.
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