Owen Croft

A Bloke's Guide to Getting the Women (A Bloke's Guide) (eBook, ePUB)

• Format: ePub

Produktbeschreibung

A Bloke's Guide to Getting the Women How to Pull Like a Broken Man Who's Given Up But Still Fancies a Shag

By Owen Croft - the only man who turned writing about baked-bean depression into a cottage industry

Let's not piss about. You're not going to wake up looking like Henry Cavill. You're not going to suddenly earn six figures or develop a jawline that could slice bread.

What you ARE going to do is learn how to weaponise your tragic existence into something strangely, horrifically attractive to women who've had one too many VKs and a messy breakup with a lad called Jake. This isn't some American "become your best self" bollocks. This is a proper British survival manual for the terminally average, the recently divorced, the chronically skint, and the proudly balding. Think of it as SAS training for your sex life - except the enemy is your own personality and the only extraction is a sweaty fumble in the Premier Inn car park. Inside you'll discover:

• Chat-up lines so awful they loop back round to genius (delivered correctly, they have a 400 % higher success rate than silence)
• The sacred 8-minute shower ritual that stops your arse from declaring independence
• How to dress like you've given up without actually looking homeless
• The exact amount of desperation that's acceptable (hint: you're already over the limit, mate)
• Why Lynx Africa is still - against all odds - a top-tier pulling tool in 2025
• Nuclear-level lines to deploy when you're ten pints deep and all dignity is gone (works best when you've already accepted arrest)

This book doesn't promise you a wife, a girlfriend, or even a second date. It promises you a fighting chance of waking up next to someone who isn't inflatable. Perfect for: lads who've been called "a good personality" as an insult, men whose Tinder bio just says "sound," and anyone who's ever looked in the mirror after six pints and thought, "Yeah... I'd probably shag me."Warning: May cause uncontrollable laughter in public, immediate confidence surges, and occasional success with women who definitely need therapy.Grab it now, you magnificent disaster.

Your right hand's been carrying the team long enough. Time to give it a night off.

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Produktdetails

• Verlag: Indigo Ink Books
• Erscheinungstermin: 24. November 2025
• Englisch
• ISBN-13: 9798230130956
• Artikelnr.: 75965231

Autorenporträt

Owen Croft was forged in the relentless drizzle of Manchester's backstreets, where the Irwell murmurs secrets to the stone warehouses and the city's heartbeat thumps like a faulty piston. Born and raised amid the red-brick sprawl of the North, this unassuming bloke traded the roar of Friday night lock-ins for the hush of forgotten moors, where he could finally hear his own thoughts without the din of the world crashing in.

By day, Owen's a ghost in the machinetinkering with words in a creaky attic studio overlooking the Pennines, far from the pixelated frenzy of social scrolls and siren calls. He's the sort who brews a pot of builder's tea strong enough to strip paint, cracks open a dog-eared Philip K. Dick or Raymond Chandler, and lets the pages pull him into alternate realities where Manchester's canals twist into wormholes or its cobbled alleys hide syndicate shadows. Writing, for him, is less a craft than a quiet rebellion: a way to wrestle the chaos of cyber-noir heists, gene-spliced grudges, and temporal double-crosses onto the page, all laced with that wry, rain-soaked Northern grit.

When he's not chasing plot twists through the ether, you'll find Owen hiking the wild fringes of the Peak District, notebook in hand, scribbling fragments inspired by the wind-whipped heather or a sudden squall. For Owen Croft, the best stories aren't told; they're unearthed, one sodden boot-print at a time. Escape with him. The world's mad enough as it is.