Jiyeon Lee

ADHD and Parental Luck (eBook, ePUB)

• Format: ePub

Produktbeschreibung

Parental Luck

When women lament their lives, they often say, "A woman with no luck in her husband has no luck in her children either." From a psychoanalytic perspective, this statement is remarkably accurate.

If a husband is abusive or dysfunctional, the mother's emotional state becomes unstable and anxious. As a result, she is unable to raise her children with emotional stability and is highly likely to use them as outlets for her emotional baggage. Children who should be receiving love instead become emotional dumping grounds for both parents. Consequently, they are more likely to grow up psychologically and emotionally damaged, making it difficult for them to develop into healthy, well-functioning members of society with stable emotional lives.

Thus, instead of being able to fulfill their role as children toward their mother, they deviate due to the wounds inflicted during childhood, ultimately becoming a source of suffering for her.

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From a psychoanalytic perspective, the saying "A woman who had no luck with her parents will also have no luck with her husband" has considerable grounding.

A daughter who did not receive adequate love or a sense of being welcomed by her parents grows up trying to earn recognition of her very existence through effort and self-sacrifice. She cannot remain still; she constantly raises her hand-"Me, me"-attempting to prove her worth even when she is not yet capable of functioning properly. Over time, this posture hardens into what appears to be diligence and a strong work ethic.

As a result, such a woman develops the ability to work and earn money, but remains emotionally vulnerable and psychologically fragile. She is unable to protect herself adequately and tends to open her heart too quickly to men who show even minimal interest or kindness, making her unable to distinguish substance from pretense. Inevitably, men who seek to exploit her labor or money begin to gather around her.

These women fail to tell whether a man is drawn to them or to their resources, and they mistake this dynamic for love-because that is precisely how they received recognition from their parents as well. They were never loved simply for existing, but only for what they produced or provided.

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Then why do such women end up with parents like these in the first place? I spent my entire life questioning why I was born to such trash-like parents.

I believed that the reason I lived in such emotional instability and hardship was because I was born to those parents-because I inherited my father's neurodevelopmental disorder, and because my father, locked in constant conflict with my mother, neglected and abandoned me before I was even a year old. I believed that my anxiety and chronic inner agitation were formed because I was taken in by my uncle's household, where I was treated as inferior and denied proper care after my grandmother intervened, preventing me from forming secure attachment.

Moreover, when I reached school age and entered the household my father had formed with his new wife, I was met not with love but was conscripted into raising my two younger half-siblings like a nanny.

As a result, I had no foundation upon which proper growth could have taken place.

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As if that were not horrifying enough, my incompetent father was a man with deeply repressed emotions-someone who was humiliated, pushed around, and crushed by others outside the home, and who then returned home to relieve his stress by raising hell. His violence was so extreme that I became emotionally frozen. He beat people, smashed objects, burned clothes, and shattered glass, repeating these acts day after day, week after week.

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Produktdetails

• Verlag: Jiyeon Lee
• Erscheinungstermin: 18. Dezember 2025
• Englisch
• ISBN-13: 9798233446764
• Artikelnr.: 76140733

Autorenporträt

I'm a former employee in Korea who became a freelancer after being diagnosed with adult ADHD. I mostly read, write, and translate books. Because the times are evil, many ADHDs exist in children and adults. If you are well cared for as a child, you can be cured, and I hope this book will help parents understand and society understands.