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How a wannabe perfect mom hit the wall of reality-hard. A funny, relatable, and spiritual look at the unforgettable journey of motherhood. Mommy Memoirs is a delightful journey from pregnancies and births to marriages and a hysterectomy! There are few stones left unturned as author Ann Van De Water describes her hectic life as a mother of three boys in short read-it-and-run stories that will have her audience laughing out loud one minute and grabbing tissues the next. These true-to-life experiences filled with humor, tenderness, practicality, and joy, written by a been-there-done-that mom,…mehr
How a wannabe perfect mom hit the wall of reality-hard. A funny, relatable, and spiritual look at the unforgettable journey of motherhood. Mommy Memoirs is a delightful journey from pregnancies and births to marriages and a hysterectomy! There are few stones left unturned as author Ann Van De Water describes her hectic life as a mother of three boys in short read-it-and-run stories that will have her audience laughing out loud one minute and grabbing tissues the next. These true-to-life experiences filled with humor, tenderness, practicality, and joy, written by a been-there-done-that mom, will have other moms and grandmothers reminiscing and expectant moms anticipating their own adventures. All will come away knowing they are not alone on their journey through motherhood. "Reading Ann's book was like dipping my cup into a well of stories filled with the authentic trials and triumphs of motherhood." -Jill Kelly, author of Without a Word "I have been laughing my head off as I read Ann's anecdotes about raising her three sons... I found so many stories that I could relate to, from 'letting down' in public (breastfeeding moms know exactly what I mean) to struggling to find a last-minute Halloween costume. I encourage all mothers and moms-to-be to read Ann Van De Water's Mommy Memoirs. You'll learn that you don't have to be perfect to be the best mom for your kids!" -Susan M. Heim, parenting author and Chicken Soup for the Soul editor, susanheim.blogspot.com
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Autorenporträt
Ann Van De Water is a mom to three grown sons and a grandmother of two. A certified parenting coach, she has taught parenting and marriage courses in Western New York and has been interviewed on Christian radio several times. She is a speaker for MOPS groups and was a featured writer in The Buffalo News.
Inhaltsangabe
INTRODUCTION: “I Want to be the Perfect Mom”
1 My OB-Gyn. Goes To My Church 2 Braxton Hicks: Is That A Department Store? 3 Cabbage Rolls and Comedies 4 Look At The Mess You Made 5 What, No Instruction Manual? 6 He Is So A Newborn 7 Bawling With The Baby 8 Afternoon Delight Or Not 9 Smack Him Again And Put Him Back 10 I Have A Hegg-ache! 11 A Forehead Embedded With Broccoli 12 A Light Snack And Ipecac 13 The Cousins And The Cornmeal 14 You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Experienced Projectile Vomiting 15 Marky Ate It (Proof Of The Existence Of Original Sin) 16 Do Worms Have Tonsils? And Other Earth Shattering Questions 17 “Letting Down” In Public 18 Pink Gorillas And The Fountain Of Youth 19 Creamed Herring, Gun Cleaning Solvent And An Easter Lily 20 A Broken Ankle And Humble Pie 21 Another Dangly: God Is In Control 22 The Vacation From Hell 23 A Book, A Bowl, A Wooden Spoon And A Tape Deck 24 Leftovers For Hubby 25 My Little Spaceman 26 Your Boss Saw My Dirty Underwear 27 Fake Teeth And Eyeball Divots 28 Remaking The Bed 29 I Love You This Much And Even More 30 I Know What You Did 31 Boys Will Be Boys 32 The Daddy Toll Booth 33 A No-Thank-You Helping And Clean Bread 34 I’m Going to Kill You And Other Words You Can’t Take Back 35 I Want To Change My Name (Time Out For Mommy) 36 The Farm In Pennsylvania 37 There Was A Forest On Our Lawn And Now A Fireman Is In Our Den 38 Marshmallow Wars (The Soft Side Of Healthy Aggression) 39 String Bean Battles (The Art Of Not Taking Yourself Too Seriously) 40 Sundaes For Dinner On Tuesday? 41 A Ringside Seat At The Van De Water-RK Boxing Match 42 Spider Webs And Alka Seltzers 43 That Didn’t Hurt! (The Fine Line Between Discipline And Abuse) 44 That Hurt (The Trials Of Being A Sports Mom) 45 Deer Hearts For Science Smarts 46 The LEGO Prince And His Mom 47 Hockey Shots Before The Bus Stops 48 My Mother, My Mentor 49 I Wanna Be Like My Daddy 50 I’m Cold So Put On A Coat 51 My Face Behind The Sponge And My Butt In A Shopping Cart 52 They’re Called Chores For A Reason 53 What Part Of “NO” Don’t You Understand? 54 The Front Of The Bus, The Top Of The Class 55 A Race Around The Pond To Make The Bus 56 Momma Bear And The Shifty Chaperone 57 Too Little Time To Just Be A Kid 58 Just Wait Until They Hit High School 59 Please Don’t “Woo-Hoo” At My Concert 60 Your Mother’s Wearing A Banana On Her Head 61 No One Can Fill Your Shoes Or Find Them 62 Ben-Meister: The Trouble With Nicknames 63 All I Want Is Loving You And Music, Music, Music 64 Full Circle In Colorado Springs 65 The Food Inspector General 66 Passing The Baton 67 Leaving His Mark 68 A Tearful Farewell 69 Hamburg Honey From Ben’s Bees 70 A Long Overdue Note Of Thanks 71 The Three Musketeers (The Importance Of Brother Bonds) 72 Advice From The Bros: Never Drive With Mom 73 Measuring Up 74 No Thank You TV 75 The Supermarket Flyer Ad In Song And Spanglish To Make Us Cringe 76 Take It All In Before They’re All Gone 77 Fear Factor In Real Life 78 Sometimes The NO Is As Important As The YES 79 Hugs At The Kitchen Sink 80 A Ring Bouquet At Sunrise And I Love You Because 81 In Three Weeks, In California, Go Buy a Dress 82 All I Want Is Loving You and Music, Music, Music (The Reprise) 83 Uterus-less In Buffalo (The Finality Of It All) 84 CONCLUSION: Nobody’s Perfect A MOTHER’S MEMORIES, Precious Pictures About The Author
1 My OB-Gyn. Goes To My Church 2 Braxton Hicks: Is That A Department Store? 3 Cabbage Rolls and Comedies 4 Look At The Mess You Made 5 What, No Instruction Manual? 6 He Is So A Newborn 7 Bawling With The Baby 8 Afternoon Delight Or Not 9 Smack Him Again And Put Him Back 10 I Have A Hegg-ache! 11 A Forehead Embedded With Broccoli 12 A Light Snack And Ipecac 13 The Cousins And The Cornmeal 14 You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Experienced Projectile Vomiting 15 Marky Ate It (Proof Of The Existence Of Original Sin) 16 Do Worms Have Tonsils? And Other Earth Shattering Questions 17 “Letting Down” In Public 18 Pink Gorillas And The Fountain Of Youth 19 Creamed Herring, Gun Cleaning Solvent And An Easter Lily 20 A Broken Ankle And Humble Pie 21 Another Dangly: God Is In Control 22 The Vacation From Hell 23 A Book, A Bowl, A Wooden Spoon And A Tape Deck 24 Leftovers For Hubby 25 My Little Spaceman 26 Your Boss Saw My Dirty Underwear 27 Fake Teeth And Eyeball Divots 28 Remaking The Bed 29 I Love You This Much And Even More 30 I Know What You Did 31 Boys Will Be Boys 32 The Daddy Toll Booth 33 A No-Thank-You Helping And Clean Bread 34 I’m Going to Kill You And Other Words You Can’t Take Back 35 I Want To Change My Name (Time Out For Mommy) 36 The Farm In Pennsylvania 37 There Was A Forest On Our Lawn And Now A Fireman Is In Our Den 38 Marshmallow Wars (The Soft Side Of Healthy Aggression) 39 String Bean Battles (The Art Of Not Taking Yourself Too Seriously) 40 Sundaes For Dinner On Tuesday? 41 A Ringside Seat At The Van De Water-RK Boxing Match 42 Spider Webs And Alka Seltzers 43 That Didn’t Hurt! (The Fine Line Between Discipline And Abuse) 44 That Hurt (The Trials Of Being A Sports Mom) 45 Deer Hearts For Science Smarts 46 The LEGO Prince And His Mom 47 Hockey Shots Before The Bus Stops 48 My Mother, My Mentor 49 I Wanna Be Like My Daddy 50 I’m Cold So Put On A Coat 51 My Face Behind The Sponge And My Butt In A Shopping Cart 52 They’re Called Chores For A Reason 53 What Part Of “NO” Don’t You Understand? 54 The Front Of The Bus, The Top Of The Class 55 A Race Around The Pond To Make The Bus 56 Momma Bear And The Shifty Chaperone 57 Too Little Time To Just Be A Kid 58 Just Wait Until They Hit High School 59 Please Don’t “Woo-Hoo” At My Concert 60 Your Mother’s Wearing A Banana On Her Head 61 No One Can Fill Your Shoes Or Find Them 62 Ben-Meister: The Trouble With Nicknames 63 All I Want Is Loving You And Music, Music, Music 64 Full Circle In Colorado Springs 65 The Food Inspector General 66 Passing The Baton 67 Leaving His Mark 68 A Tearful Farewell 69 Hamburg Honey From Ben’s Bees 70 A Long Overdue Note Of Thanks 71 The Three Musketeers (The Importance Of Brother Bonds) 72 Advice From The Bros: Never Drive With Mom 73 Measuring Up 74 No Thank You TV 75 The Supermarket Flyer Ad In Song And Spanglish To Make Us Cringe 76 Take It All In Before They’re All Gone 77 Fear Factor In Real Life 78 Sometimes The NO Is As Important As The YES 79 Hugs At The Kitchen Sink 80 A Ring Bouquet At Sunrise And I Love You Because 81 In Three Weeks, In California, Go Buy a Dress 82 All I Want Is Loving You and Music, Music, Music (The Reprise) 83 Uterus-less In Buffalo (The Finality Of It All) 84 CONCLUSION: Nobody’s Perfect A MOTHER’S MEMORIES, Precious Pictures About The Author
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