Gary Harper

The Joy of Conflict Resolution (eBook, ePUB)

Transforming Victims, Villains and Heroes in the Workplace and at Home

• Format: ePub

Produktbeschreibung

All you need to understand the dynamics of conflict -- and the joy of resolution

The Joy of Conflict Resolution
Transforming Victims, Villains and Heroes in the Workplace and at Home
Gary Harper

The rapid rate of change in the workplace and among families often leads to conflict and confrontation which can undermine productivity and poison relationships. The Joy of Conflict Resolution helps readers understand conflict and why it arises through the lens of the "drama triangle" of victims, villains and heroes. In an accessible, engaging and light-hearted style that uses stories and humor to explore potentially emotionally charged situations, it provides proven and practical skills to move beyond confrontation to resolve conflicts collaboratively.

In over thirteen years as a trainer, facilitator and mediator, Gary Harper has taught thousands of people in both public and private sectors to successfully manage conflict. He also teaches for the Centre for Conflict Resolution at the Justice Institute in Vancouver, BC.

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Produktdetails

• Verlag: New Society Publishers
• Seitenzahl: 208
• Altersempfehlung: ab 16 Jahre
• Erscheinungstermin: 20. Mai 2004
• Englisch
• ISBN-13: 9781550923957
• Artikelnr.: 38323179

Autorenporträt

Gary Harper is a respected trainer in the field of conflict resolution. With thirteen years experience as a facilitator and mediator, he has worked with thousands of people in a variety of different organizations, as well as presenting regularly at conferences. He teaches at the Justice Institute in Vancouver, and lives in Burnaby, BC.

Inhaltsangabe

Acknowledgments
Introduction
CHAPTER 1: VICTIMS, VILLAINS, AND HEROES
Fairy tales of conflict
Roles we play
Beyond the drama triangle
CHAPTER 2: LESSONS FROM THE SANDBOX
Grow up, already
My PhD advisor can beat up your PhD advisor
Themes from the playground
It's hard to see the picture when you're in the frame
Conflict as its own reward
The roots of defensiveness
CHAPTER 3: JUST LIKE THE MOVIES
Elements of conflict stories
What drives us?
Our conflict dramas
When did the knife go in?
The journey from confrontation to collaboration
CHAPTER 4: WELCOME TO TURM-OIL INC .
Co-workers in conflict
Black Friday
CHAPTER 5: THE ASSUMPTION ICEBERG
Book 'em, Dinah
Motive and impact
Book 'em, Dinah (revisited)
CHAPTER 6: THE WOBBLY STOOL OF CONFLICT
The three legs of conflict
Big Bob goes bananas
Diagnosing resistance
Identifying the problem
Respecting process needs
Stabilizing the emotion
Big Bob goes bananas (revisited)
CHAPTER 7: THE PERILS OF ANGER MOUNTAIN
Responses to anger
Significance of the anger arousal cycle
Strategies to defuse others' anger
The time and place for apologies
CHAPTER 8: BEWARE THE CONFLICT GREMLINS
Strategies to manage our own anger
Get to know your gremlins
What to do about our gremlins
Listen to your inner coach
CHAPTER 9: THE POWER OF LISTENING
The North Wind and the Sun
Why listen?
Silence is golden
Proving you understand
How to get the full story
A metaphor is worth a thousand words
The importance of being genuine
CHAPTER 10: SPINNING THE STRAW OF DEFENSIVENESS
The chain reaction of defensiveness
Defining defensiveness
Spinning the gold of understanding
Forms of defensiveness: more lessons from the sandbox
Warming the climate
Doug separates the person from the problem
When you hit bedrock
CHAPTER 11: ESCAPING THE TRAP OF POSITIONS
No room at the inn for Vic
Trapped by positions
Naming the topic
The key to collaboration - interests and needs
Shifting from positions to interests
CHAPTER 12: PROBING THE DEPTHS OF CONFLICT
Shifting judgment to curiosity
All questions are not created equal
Peeling the onion for the real story
I'll show you mine if ...
Ask only if you really want to know
CHAPTER 13: STANDING UP FOR OURSELVES (WITHOUT KNOCKING THE OTHER PERSON
DOWN)
An alternative to fight or flight
Passive behavior
Aggressive behavior
"I" statements
The difficult person story
"I'm okay. They need professional help"
Describing the difficult behavior
First within, then without
The D-E-S statement
When the other person doesn't respond
A few tips
CHAPTER 14: THE ROAD TO RESOLUTION
Preparing to meet
Doug's preparation to meet with Marko
Steps to collaboration
The conflict resolution two-step
CHAPTER 15: TIPS FOR THE TRAVELER
Being a warrior of the heart
The inner work
Active curiosity
Focusing on specific skills
Changing the dance
Don't go it alone
Other tips
Resources
Bibliography
Index
About the Author