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Do you have a healthy mental attitude and a positive outlook on life? Good for you. This means you are in the right frame of mind. But if you don't, this means you are in the left frame of mind. This is not so good. The left frame of mind is the wrong frame of mind. It means you have a Leftist Brain. Sorry. I don't make up the rules. And life isn't fair.
At least you are not alone. Far from it even. Leftist brains are everywhere and come in a near endless variety of flavors, classifications and good intentions gone bad. There is, for instance, no fundamental difference between a Soviet
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Produktbeschreibung
Do you have a healthy mental attitude and a positive outlook on life? Good for you. This means you are in the right frame of mind. But if you don't, this means you are in the left frame of mind. This is not so good. The left frame of mind is the wrong frame of mind. It means you have a Leftist Brain. Sorry. I don't make up the rules. And life isn't fair.

At least you are not alone. Far from it even. Leftist brains are everywhere and come in a near endless variety of flavors, classifications and good intentions gone bad. There is, for instance, no fundamental difference between a Soviet communist Leftist Brain and a Wisconsin Democrat Leftist Brain. It is merely a matter of degree of Leftist Brain brainedness. And the reason for this huge range of confusion is that all leftist brains share these three common characteristics:

1) The belief that COLLECTIVISM is good and individualism is bad. The Leftist Brain hungers for parental government that promotes childlike dependency. It expects the State to regulate everything, from daycare to retirement. It does not care that this cradle-to-grave infantilization undermines freedom of choice, self-reliance and self-determination, as long as it is told that this is being done in the name of "equality," a wonderful sounding ideal that doesn't exist in nature.

2) The conviction that COERCION is superior to voluntary cooperation. The Leftist Brain is magically drawn to practices that restrict the individual's freedom to choose. It does not trust in voluntary action. It has no confidence in the spontaneous order created through mutual agreement. It is troubled by the thought of unrestricted individuals deciding things for themselves. They might not have "the greater good" in mind. This is why coercion is necessary. For the Leftist Brain, "the ends justify the means" and it only respects the rule of law when it is "interpreted" in the way it deems fit.

3) SENSE OF MISSION trumps common sense. The Leftist Brain sees itself as the chosen one "on the right side of history." It believes it is superior to ordinary brains. They can never enjoy its higher, enlightened status. This belief serves the psychological function of bolstering what is typically the weak self-esteem of a brain that is ungrateful, ungenerous and unhappy. Its feigned altruism hides a lack of true empathy that leads to pronounced narcissist tendencies. Unchecked, these tendencies eventually lead to nihilism, narcissism and nihilism being functionally equivalent. This is what makes the Leftist Brain so easy to trigger. This is why it so quickly resorts to hysterical outbursts, violence and destruction.

The following is a collection of observations about the nature of the Leftist Brain. Chapter content is not strictly limited to what is indicated by the given chapter's title. Please view them as convenient bookmarks for what some might call a rather unconstrained structure. There will be lots of thematic repetition throughout, in other words. There will also be several short quizzes. But be warned: They are very difficult. Nobody has ever passed one.

Most of these observations are meant to be humorous, although it cannot be denied that this type of humor may be seen as a subversive, bitter form of humor that is often cynical rather than laugh-out-loud funny. This is because it is a subversive, bitter form of humor that is often cynical rather than laugh-out-loud funny.

Have a nice day anyway.


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Autorenporträt
Dazed and confused about Germany in general and Berlin in particular, Hermann O. (AKA Hermann Observer, AKA Clarsonimus Maximus, AKA Clarsonimus) is a mean, nasty and cynical old expat American who observes the world around him in quiet desperation.