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Do you have a healthy mental attitude and a positive outlook on life? Good for you. This means you are in the right frame of mind. If you don't, this means you are in the left frame of mind, and this is not so good. The left frame of mind is the wrong frame of mind. It means you have a Leftist Brain. Sorry. I don't make up the rules. And life isn't fair.
At least you are not alone. Far from it. Leftist brains are everywhere and come in a near endless variety of good intentions gone bad. There is, for instance, no fundamental difference between a Soviet communist Leftist Brain and a
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Produktbeschreibung
Do you have a healthy mental attitude and a positive outlook on life? Good for you. This means you are in the right frame of mind. If you don't, this means you are in the left frame of mind, and this is not so good. The left frame of mind is the wrong frame of mind. It means you have a Leftist Brain. Sorry. I don't make up the rules. And life isn't fair.

At least you are not alone. Far from it. Leftist brains are everywhere and come in a near endless variety of good intentions gone bad. There is, for instance, no fundamental difference between a Soviet communist Leftist Brain and a Wisconsin Democrat Leftist Brain. It is merely a matter of degree of Leftist Brain brainness. This is because all leftist brains share the following three characteristics:

1) The belief that COLLECTIVISM is good and individualism is bad. The Leftist Brain dreams of parental government that promotes childlike dependency. It expects the State to regulate everything, from daycare to retirement. And it does not care that such cradle-to-grave infantilization undermines its own freedom of choice and speech as long as it is told this is being done in the name of "equality," a wonderful sounding ideal that does not exist in Nature.

2) The conviction that COERCION is superior to voluntary cooperation. The Leftist Brain wants a world in which all conform to a strict regime of domination and submission. It does not trust in voluntary action. It has no confidence in the spontaneous order created through mutual agreement. It is vexed by the thought of unrestricted individuals deciding things for themselves because they might not have "the greater good" in mind. The Leftist Brain believes that "the ends justify the means" and only respects the rule of law when it is "interpreted" in the way it deems fit.

3) SENSE OF MISSION overrides common sense. The Leftist Brain sees itself as one of the chosen "on the right side of history." It feels superior to ordinary brains that can never enjoy its higher, enlightened status; this delusion serving the psychological function of bolstering what is typically the weak self-esteem of a brain that is ungrateful, ungenerous and therefore unhappy. Its feigned altruism hides its lack of true empathy and reveals its pronounced narcissist tendencies. Unchecked, these tendencies lead to full-blown nihilism. This is why it is so easy to trigger and eager to resort to violence.

Sadly, such misguided and confused Leftist Brain brainness has led us to where we are today. Because like it or not, we live in a Leftist Brain world. And it is a world very far removed from the one the framers of the Constitution originally intended. Instead of enjoying individual freedom in a political system that protects our liberties through the exercise of limited negative rights (don't do this, don't do that), the Leftist Brain's endless quest for equality and some vague and arbitrary "greater good" means we must endure government coercion through the exercise of unlimited positive rights (do this, do that). We must do as we are told, in other words. We have become indentured servants to the State.

The following is a collection of observations about the nature of the Leftist Brain. Chapter content is not strictly limited to what is indicated by the given chapter title. It's a pretty chaotic mishmash, in other words (perhaps a bit more mish than mash). Please note that there will be a short quiz at the end of each chapter. But be warned: No one has ever been able to pass one.

Most of these observations are meant to be humorous, although it can't be denied that this might be seen as a somewhat biting and bitter form of humor that is more cynical than laugh-out-loud funny. This is because it is a somewhat biting and bitter form of humor that is more cynical than laugh-out-loud funny.

I hope you enjoy it anyway.


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Autorenporträt
Dazed and confused about Germany in general and Berlin in particular, Hermann O. (AKA Hermann Observer, AKA Clarsonimus Maximus, AKA Clarsonimus) is a mean, nasty and cynical old expat American who observes the world around him in quiet desperation.