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Bursting with passion and humor, The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate is a treasure trove for allies to the LGBTQ+ communities. This fully revised second edition includes: The most current information on identities and LGBTQ+ languageTips for respectfully sharing, gathering, and using pronounsLGBTQ+ etiquette, including common language bloopers toavoidTools for navigating difficult conversationsBest practices for creating LGBTQ+ inclusive spacesAppropriate actions to take after messing up Techniques for self-care and sustainable allyship The Savvy Ally is a vital…mehr
Bursting with passion and humor, The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate is a treasure trove for allies to the LGBTQ+ communities. This fully revised second edition includes: The most current information on identities and LGBTQ+ languageTips for respectfully sharing, gathering, and using pronounsLGBTQ+ etiquette, including common language bloopers toavoidTools for navigating difficult conversationsBest practices for creating LGBTQ+ inclusive spacesAppropriate actions to take after messing up Techniques for self-care and sustainable allyship The Savvy Ally is a vital resource for teachers, mental health professionals, healthcare providers, college professors, faith leaders, family members, and friends who want to support and advocate for the LGBTQ+ people in their lives and help make the world a safer, more inclusive place. This informative, encouraging, and easy-to-understand guidebook will jump-start even the most tentative ally. 100% of the royalties from the first year of sales of this 2nd edition will be donated to nonprofit organizations working to build a safer and more inclusive world for LGBTQ+ people.
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Autorenporträt
Jeannie Gainsburg (pronouns: she/her/hers) is an award-winning educational trainer and consultant in the field of LGBTQ+ inclusion and effective allyship. Formerly the education director at the Out Alliance of Rochester, New York, she is now the founder of Savvy Ally Action, a small business that offers fun, accessible, and encouraging workshops and videos on how to be an ally to the LGBTQ+ communities. Jeannie has a BA in psychology from Brown University and an MA in social work and social research from Bryn Mawr College. She was under the impression that a citation was the result of driving too fast until January of 2019, when she received one from the New York State Assembly for Distinguished Educational & Human Rights Services for her work in promoting LGBTQ+ rights and inclusion. She lives in Rochester, New York, with her husband, Ed, and their cat, Carlos. Visit her website and download free ally goodies at www.savvyallyaction.com.
Inhaltsangabe
Author's Note Preface 1 - Getting Started Thank You What You Can Expect from This Book Defining Ally Broadly Bringing My Friends Along for the Ride Practice Makes Pretty Darn Good The Power of the Ally Allies Can Help Validate a Cause Allies Can Be a Cultural Bridge Allies Can Take the Heat Off of LGBTQ+ People Allies Can Be Possibility Models Allies Can Get Special Access What's Your Story? Notes Part I: Becoming Knowledgeable Allies 2 - Caution: Identities Being Defined! Cisgender LGBTQ+ Queer Why Do There Have to Be So Many Identity Words? Notes 3 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+ Why the Big Reveal? The Coming-Out Process Identity Confusion Identity Comparison Identity Tolerance Identity Acceptance Identity Pride Identity Synthesis In Summary From Theory to Reality Coming Out Is a Lifelong Process The Process Is Not Always Linear It's So Much Fun, Some Folks Do It Twice! It's Not Just for LGBTQ+ People Coming Out Is Not Always the Immediate Goal Responding When Someone Comes Out to You What to Say What Not to Say Future Fantasies Notes 4 - Orientations, Identities, Behaviors-Oh My! A Basic Diagram of the Components of Sex, Gender, and Sexuality Biological Sex Gender Identity Gender Expression Attraction (Also Known as Orientation) Intimate Behaviors Where Do I Fall? Biological Sex Gender Identity Gender Expression Attraction Intimate Behaviors An Advanced Diagram of the Components of Sex, Gender, and Sexuality Answers to Our Questions What the Heck Does Nonbinary Mean? Can Transgender People Also Be Gay? How Can I Tell If Someone Is Gay? How Can Someone Be Asexual but Still Have Sex? Key Ally Takeaways Notes Part II: Building Skills for Having Respectful Conversations 5 - Pronouns: Sharing, Gathering, and Using Why Are Pronouns So Important? Sharing Your Pronouns Gathering Pronouns from Others One-on-One In a Small Group In Large Numbers Using Pronouns Correctly Singular They Neopronouns More Than One Pronoun Messing Up Properly Notes 6 - LGBTQ+ Etiquette Tips, Common Bloopers, and Outdated Terms LGBTQ+ Etiquette Tips Tip #1: Ungender Your Language Tip #2: Mirror Terms Combining Tip #1 and Tip #2 Tip #3: Implement the "Switch It" Technique Tip #4: Use the Correct Name and Pronoun Tip #5: Focus on What You Need to Know Common LGBTQ+ Language Bloopers to Avoid Getting Creative with the Word Transgender Confusing the Terms Transgender Man and Transgender Woman Talking about Preferred Pronouns Using the Word Preference Instead of Orientation Using Language That Implies That Transitioning Is Completed Focusing on the Past Asking a Gay Couple Which One Is the Man and Which One Is the Woman Outdated Terms and Better Language Choices Use Transgender Instead of Transsexual Use Cross-Dresser Instead of Transvestite Use Gay Instead of Homosexual Use Typical Instead of Normal Use Intersex Instead of Hermaphrodite Use Different Sex or Gender Instead of Opposite Sex or Gender Use Are Instead of Identify As Avoid These Terms Altogether Gay Lifestyle Tranny, Fag, and Dyke Notes 7 - Gaydar and Other Problematic Assumptions Gaydar LGBTQ+ Myths and Stereotypes Myths and Stereotypes about Straight/Cisgender Allies Intersectionality Notes 8 - Good Talk: The Art of Having Useful Conversations We Are All Resistant Learners Tips for Having Respectful and Useful Conversations Put Yourself in the Hot Seat (Prep Work) Set Your Listen/Share Dial to at Least 50/50 (Prep Work) Assume Goodwill Avoid Labelling the Comment or Behavior Use "I" Statements Start with a Connecting Statement Educate with Examples, Not Definitions Try the "Switch It" Technique Listen for Those Myths and Stereotypes Be Aware of Your Hot Buttons A Night Out with Lou the Lunchroom Aide An Ally's Gift Notes Part III: Taking Action to Create More Inclusive Spaces 9 - Straight Pride Parades and Special Snowflakes: Addressing Common Questions I Just Treat Everyone the Same; What's Wrong with That? Why Do LGBTQ+ People Have to Flaunt Their Sexuality and Get in My Face with It? The Falsely Accused Flaunter The Temporary Flaunter The Full-Time Flaunter I Know My Friend Is Gay-How Can I Get Him to Come Out to Me? Aren't We in a Good Place Now with LGBTQ+ Rights and Inclusion? What's Left to Do? Why Isn't There a Straight Pride Parade? Reality Check #1 Reality Check #2 Reality Check #3 Reality Check #4 Apparently, I'm Cisgender. How Can I Be Something That I've Never Heard of? Do I Have to Go around Telling People I'm Cisgender Now? How Can I Be Something That I Don't Even Know about and Why Does Someone Else Get to Define Me? (Confused/Irritated) Is This New Word Really "a Thing" or Will It Be Gone Next Month? (Skeptical) Do I Have to Embrace This New Term? My List of Identity Terms Seems to Be Constantly Growing. Which Ones Do I Have to Share in Order to Be Respectful? (Overwhelmed) Why Are LGBTQ+ People So Angry? My Lesbian Friends Call Each Other Dykes. Why Is It Okay for Them to Do That but Not Me? I Thought People Were "Born That Way"; Now You're Telling Me That Being LGBTQ+ Can Be a Lifelong Journey of Changing Identities? WTF? I Feel Like I Can't Say Anything Anymore without Offending Someone. Don't You Think We've Gone Too Far with All of This PC Language? Notes 10 - Duct Tape Patch-up Jobs and Big Fixes Educating Others Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs with Our Educational Opportunities Big Fixes with Our Educational Opportunities Increasing LGBTQ+ Visibility Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Increasing LGBTQ+ Visibility Big Fixes for Increasing LGBTQ+ Visibility Revising Forms Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Revising Forms and Paperwork Big Fixes for Revising Forms and Paperwork Updating Policies Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Updating Policies Big Fixes for Updating Policies Fixing Gendered Facilities Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Fixing Gendered Restrooms and Other Facilities Big Fixes for Fixing Gendered Restrooms and Other Facilities A Special Note about Signage Notes 11 - Creating LGBTQ+ Inclusive Spaces in Different Settings In Your Home In Health and Mental Health Settings Caring for LGBTQ+ People of Color Caring for Transgender Individuals Caring for Older LGBTQ+ Adults In the Workplace In Faith Communities In Schools Notes 12 - Taking It to the Streets Rallies, Marches, Protests, and Lobbying Talking with Politicians Fundraising Pride Notes 13 - Now What? Questions from Allies in the Real World Questions about Terms and Identities Questions from Family Members Questions from the Workplace Questions from Teachers and School Staff Notes Part IV: Allying Responsibly 14 - Messing Up Properly Accidentally Misgendering Someone Offer an Apology or a Thank-You Forgive Yourself Get It Right the Next Time Making an Offensive or Hurtful Comment Offer a Thank-You and an Apology Forgive Yourself Get It Right the Next Time Blundering Again Notes 15 - Backlash Against Allies Ally Is a Practice, Not an Identity Shut Up and Listen "A" Is for Asexual Key Ally Takeaways Pay It Forward Notes 16 - Sustainability Take Care of Yourself Be on Your Own Team Treat Yourself the Way You Would Treat Your Best Friend Give Yourself Permission to Fail 220 Use Positive Self-Coaching Tips Keep a Joy Journal Know Your Recipe for Wellness and Follow It Think about What's Not Wrong Pace Yourself Continue Your Education Every So Often, Return to "Why?" Notes Discussion Guide Glossary Bibliography Acknowledgments About the Author
Author's Note Preface 1 - Getting Started Thank You What You Can Expect from This Book Defining Ally Broadly Bringing My Friends Along for the Ride Practice Makes Pretty Darn Good The Power of the Ally Allies Can Help Validate a Cause Allies Can Be a Cultural Bridge Allies Can Take the Heat Off of LGBTQ+ People Allies Can Be Possibility Models Allies Can Get Special Access What's Your Story? Notes Part I: Becoming Knowledgeable Allies 2 - Caution: Identities Being Defined! Cisgender LGBTQ+ Queer Why Do There Have to Be So Many Identity Words? Notes 3 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+ Why the Big Reveal? The Coming-Out Process Identity Confusion Identity Comparison Identity Tolerance Identity Acceptance Identity Pride Identity Synthesis In Summary From Theory to Reality Coming Out Is a Lifelong Process The Process Is Not Always Linear It's So Much Fun, Some Folks Do It Twice! It's Not Just for LGBTQ+ People Coming Out Is Not Always the Immediate Goal Responding When Someone Comes Out to You What to Say What Not to Say Future Fantasies Notes 4 - Orientations, Identities, Behaviors-Oh My! A Basic Diagram of the Components of Sex, Gender, and Sexuality Biological Sex Gender Identity Gender Expression Attraction (Also Known as Orientation) Intimate Behaviors Where Do I Fall? Biological Sex Gender Identity Gender Expression Attraction Intimate Behaviors An Advanced Diagram of the Components of Sex, Gender, and Sexuality Answers to Our Questions What the Heck Does Nonbinary Mean? Can Transgender People Also Be Gay? How Can I Tell If Someone Is Gay? How Can Someone Be Asexual but Still Have Sex? Key Ally Takeaways Notes Part II: Building Skills for Having Respectful Conversations 5 - Pronouns: Sharing, Gathering, and Using Why Are Pronouns So Important? Sharing Your Pronouns Gathering Pronouns from Others One-on-One In a Small Group In Large Numbers Using Pronouns Correctly Singular They Neopronouns More Than One Pronoun Messing Up Properly Notes 6 - LGBTQ+ Etiquette Tips, Common Bloopers, and Outdated Terms LGBTQ+ Etiquette Tips Tip #1: Ungender Your Language Tip #2: Mirror Terms Combining Tip #1 and Tip #2 Tip #3: Implement the "Switch It" Technique Tip #4: Use the Correct Name and Pronoun Tip #5: Focus on What You Need to Know Common LGBTQ+ Language Bloopers to Avoid Getting Creative with the Word Transgender Confusing the Terms Transgender Man and Transgender Woman Talking about Preferred Pronouns Using the Word Preference Instead of Orientation Using Language That Implies That Transitioning Is Completed Focusing on the Past Asking a Gay Couple Which One Is the Man and Which One Is the Woman Outdated Terms and Better Language Choices Use Transgender Instead of Transsexual Use Cross-Dresser Instead of Transvestite Use Gay Instead of Homosexual Use Typical Instead of Normal Use Intersex Instead of Hermaphrodite Use Different Sex or Gender Instead of Opposite Sex or Gender Use Are Instead of Identify As Avoid These Terms Altogether Gay Lifestyle Tranny, Fag, and Dyke Notes 7 - Gaydar and Other Problematic Assumptions Gaydar LGBTQ+ Myths and Stereotypes Myths and Stereotypes about Straight/Cisgender Allies Intersectionality Notes 8 - Good Talk: The Art of Having Useful Conversations We Are All Resistant Learners Tips for Having Respectful and Useful Conversations Put Yourself in the Hot Seat (Prep Work) Set Your Listen/Share Dial to at Least 50/50 (Prep Work) Assume Goodwill Avoid Labelling the Comment or Behavior Use "I" Statements Start with a Connecting Statement Educate with Examples, Not Definitions Try the "Switch It" Technique Listen for Those Myths and Stereotypes Be Aware of Your Hot Buttons A Night Out with Lou the Lunchroom Aide An Ally's Gift Notes Part III: Taking Action to Create More Inclusive Spaces 9 - Straight Pride Parades and Special Snowflakes: Addressing Common Questions I Just Treat Everyone the Same; What's Wrong with That? Why Do LGBTQ+ People Have to Flaunt Their Sexuality and Get in My Face with It? The Falsely Accused Flaunter The Temporary Flaunter The Full-Time Flaunter I Know My Friend Is Gay-How Can I Get Him to Come Out to Me? Aren't We in a Good Place Now with LGBTQ+ Rights and Inclusion? What's Left to Do? Why Isn't There a Straight Pride Parade? Reality Check #1 Reality Check #2 Reality Check #3 Reality Check #4 Apparently, I'm Cisgender. How Can I Be Something That I've Never Heard of? Do I Have to Go around Telling People I'm Cisgender Now? How Can I Be Something That I Don't Even Know about and Why Does Someone Else Get to Define Me? (Confused/Irritated) Is This New Word Really "a Thing" or Will It Be Gone Next Month? (Skeptical) Do I Have to Embrace This New Term? My List of Identity Terms Seems to Be Constantly Growing. Which Ones Do I Have to Share in Order to Be Respectful? (Overwhelmed) Why Are LGBTQ+ People So Angry? My Lesbian Friends Call Each Other Dykes. Why Is It Okay for Them to Do That but Not Me? I Thought People Were "Born That Way"; Now You're Telling Me That Being LGBTQ+ Can Be a Lifelong Journey of Changing Identities? WTF? I Feel Like I Can't Say Anything Anymore without Offending Someone. Don't You Think We've Gone Too Far with All of This PC Language? Notes 10 - Duct Tape Patch-up Jobs and Big Fixes Educating Others Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs with Our Educational Opportunities Big Fixes with Our Educational Opportunities Increasing LGBTQ+ Visibility Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Increasing LGBTQ+ Visibility Big Fixes for Increasing LGBTQ+ Visibility Revising Forms Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Revising Forms and Paperwork Big Fixes for Revising Forms and Paperwork Updating Policies Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Updating Policies Big Fixes for Updating Policies Fixing Gendered Facilities Duct Tape Patch-Up Jobs for Fixing Gendered Restrooms and Other Facilities Big Fixes for Fixing Gendered Restrooms and Other Facilities A Special Note about Signage Notes 11 - Creating LGBTQ+ Inclusive Spaces in Different Settings In Your Home In Health and Mental Health Settings Caring for LGBTQ+ People of Color Caring for Transgender Individuals Caring for Older LGBTQ+ Adults In the Workplace In Faith Communities In Schools Notes 12 - Taking It to the Streets Rallies, Marches, Protests, and Lobbying Talking with Politicians Fundraising Pride Notes 13 - Now What? Questions from Allies in the Real World Questions about Terms and Identities Questions from Family Members Questions from the Workplace Questions from Teachers and School Staff Notes Part IV: Allying Responsibly 14 - Messing Up Properly Accidentally Misgendering Someone Offer an Apology or a Thank-You Forgive Yourself Get It Right the Next Time Making an Offensive or Hurtful Comment Offer a Thank-You and an Apology Forgive Yourself Get It Right the Next Time Blundering Again Notes 15 - Backlash Against Allies Ally Is a Practice, Not an Identity Shut Up and Listen "A" Is for Asexual Key Ally Takeaways Pay It Forward Notes 16 - Sustainability Take Care of Yourself Be on Your Own Team Treat Yourself the Way You Would Treat Your Best Friend Give Yourself Permission to Fail 220 Use Positive Self-Coaching Tips Keep a Joy Journal Know Your Recipe for Wellness and Follow It Think about What's Not Wrong Pace Yourself Continue Your Education Every So Often, Return to "Why?" Notes Discussion Guide Glossary Bibliography Acknowledgments About the Author
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