Here's an example of the manual:
Marriage/partnership is supposed to add to your life, not shrink you. If staying costs more emotionally, mentally, or physically than leaving, that's when divorce/separation becomes the healthiest path forward.
Here is a self-checklist of ten questions you should ask yourself.
1. Do I feel respected and valued in this relationship most of the time?
2. Has my partner's behavior caused me to feel unsafe, anxious, or drained emotionally or physically?
3. Do I feel like I have to walk on eggshells to avoid fights, criticism, or anger?
4. Has intimacy, affection, or genuine interest in your lives died out completely?
5. Do I trust my partner, or do I constantly worry about lies, secrecy, or infidelity?
6. Have I tried to address problems (talking, counseling, compromise), but my man refuses to change?
7. Has this relationship damaged my self-esteem, confidence, or health?
8. Are my children being exposed to toxic patterns like disrespect, neglect, or hostility?
9. Do our goals and values no longer align, with no realistic path to meet in the middle?
10. Do I imagine a future happier and freer without him more often than I imagine repairing things with him?
Scoring
. Yes to 0-3: Probably every day bumps. Work on communication. Communication, or lack thereof, is the rot in most relationships.
. Yes to 4-6: Serious cracks. Time to step back and reassess, separation may be necessary if things don't change. Big trouble here for sure.
. Yes to 7-10: Clear red zone. Your well-being and future are at risk. Strongly consider separation; check that, then don't consider it, leave, and leave ASAP.
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