Book 1, Is that your Thigh I'm Squeezing?, recounts the beginning of their relationship, from Elmer's furtive examination of Tilly's anatomy to the miscommunication surrounding the conclusion of their first date. It must have worked out though; they are still teasing each other about the legendary events of that first date fifty years later.
September 29, 1961
The phone call:
"Hello?"
"Tilly?"
"This is Mrs. Williams. Would you like to speak with Tilly?"
"Um, yes. It's Elmer Talbot. Is Tilly there?"
Elmer heard Tilly's mom call out, away from the phone. "Tilly, it's Elmer Talbot."
While he waited, Elmer considered how a bug must feel when it's about to be squashed. The huge foot descending, blocking out the sky, coming closer and closer ...
"Hello Elmer!"
Silence.
"Elmer?"
"Hello Tilly, it's Elmer."
"I know silly! How are you?"
"Want to go to the movies Saturday night?"
"You know I want to go to the movies Saturday night, Elmer. Thank you for asking!"
One second passed in silence as Elmer began to breathe again.
Another second of silence passed as a huge weight ascended from Elmer's shoulders.
There was no sound for another second as Elmer realized he actually WAS the greatest stud west of the Mississippi.
Elmer smiled quietly as he imagined Tilly at his feet, reaching up pleadingly while clinging to his thigh. "Make love to me!" she begged. He gently removed the last of her clothing and laid her across the soft rug in front of the fire. The warm, flickering light illuminated her naked...
"Elmer?"
"Yes?" Elmer replied in a voice that sounded slightly deeper than before.
"You ARE asking me to go WITH you, aren't you Elmer?"
"Of course. How about if I pick you up at 6:30?"
"OK, that will be fun."
"I hope so. Bye."
"See you then."
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