I always wake from this nightmare disorientated and on the verge of tears. Suffice to say, I immediately seek solace in some of the 20th century celluloid treasures contained within this humble little guide, such as a French female sociopath wreaking havoc on her village, a cuckolded Oliver Reed busting out of prison to set things straight, and rednecks being knocked unconscious by a scarred, club-wielding sheriff.
All I can say is: keep the faith, people. Keep the faith that the stifling sway of political correctness, the fixation on sending the correct message, the mania about having respectful minority representation, and the obsession with superheroes will crumble into dust just like the impeding Hays Code did all those decades earlier. I mean, things always go in cycles, don't they? This horrendous period of conservatism will surely give way to a liberal flowering. Perhaps then I'll tiptoe back into an actual cinema to once again enjoy Proper Movie Stars and Fucked-Up Films.
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